Just thinkn aloud...

I would like to know the real definition of Love, because it seems to be different from everyone. Is there even a real definition, or does it depend on the person? And when in a relationship do you feel it is ok to say those three words? And since we are on the topic of relationships, I have more questions. And I know that after reading this that a lot of women will be frustrated but I want to know. This is how it has been for me. Why is it that women make this relationship so hard? The hardest part is finding one that actually has plans for her future and goals that she plans to reach. It seems like all the girls either want a thug (that part of me is in the past), aka someone that can't do shit for them or someone who has no plans in life and is just living day to day. Or they really feel you, but don't want to be in a relationship because of the fear of getting hurt. This I can somewhat understand, because believe it or not, but I have also been hurt in a relationship, cheated on, used, and the list goes on. But one thing that I learned is if you live life afraid then nothing will ever change. There are a lot of women who miss out on good dudes that really want to be a part of THEIR LIFE, but they are too afraid to actually trust in him. And there is a common stereotype that I have heard quite often. "All you niggas are the same." When in all actuality I am nothing like the average "Omaha Nigga." That just bugs the shit out of me. It seems like we spend all this time actually trying to get to know the real you(girl), and let you know that we are genuinely interested in YOU, only for you to say that we wasted our time, because all niggas are jus alike and you know what I want. Really what I want is YOU, but you are too busy thinking that because I am a male that I will hurt you, like males are immune to pain. Like I said before I too have been hurt. And I know how it feels for you to put your all into making a relationship work only to find out that it was based on nothing but lies. But women now don't seem to understand that men have feelings just like they do. But all of the women that I have talked to say that no female can be "on games" just because, a nigga treated her wrong and that’s why they are like that which is bullshit! This is actually a very sexist remark. Just like niggas can be dogs females can too!

In love...with a stranger....

Whenever I am asked about you, I am always find myslef speechless, because words can’t describe you. And the way your presence can light up a room and catch everyone’s eye, only if you knew how blessed I feel to have you as part of my life. I don’t know what it is, but when I am with you, YOU are the only one I see, the only one I can hear…You also possess a gift, that can make me forget about my past, and everyone that has did me wrong....fact that anything could be going on, and just being around you and your smile...makes everything ok. You are the only person I think about, want to be around, and want to hold. When I am around you, I honestly don’t know what it is that you do to me, but I feel asthmatic, and I swear I can hear my heart beating, and I am almost positive that when you open your mouth, your voice makes my heart skip a few beats. Your touch is amazing, when I hold you, it’s like I’m holding my own heart….You are the only person that I can sit on the phone with for hours. Then as soon as we hang up I will start wondering what you are thinking about, before I can even put my phone away. It’s crazy that I can feel this way at such a young age, but this has to be real…but at the same time....this feels too good to be true. This whole situation is like a dream….a perfect dream, and if that is the case I hope that I never wake up. This feeling that I have is unlike any other feeling that I have ever felt. One thing that I really admire about you is that you realize that just because I have a dick does not mean that I do not have feelings. Or maybe it’s the fact that anything could be going on, and just being around you and your smile can make me forget who or what I was mad at. You complete who I am. Every strong black male needs his blak queen, and I have mine. To many this next statement may seem strange, but I am in love with a woman that I have never met.....but I know that one day I will....and I will cherish that day for the rest of my life......

Changing for the good...

There comes a point in every real mans life, when he takes a second a reflects over where it is that he has come from, and also where he still plans on going...I think that it is about time that I do this.....To be perfectly honest, a few years ago, you could not have said anything to me about college...All I wanted to do was be in the streets...Gangs, violence, drugs, I was there...I was right there, and saw no point in trying to change my life...From getting shot.....I am still lucky to have close good friends, who I took for granted....I want each and everyone of you to know that I love and appreciate all of you...If it weren't for you(you know who you are), I wouldn't be here today...I don't think that I ever told you, but that day I came to your house instead of going with some other people, the car that I was supposed to be in got shot up...I really love u all...As for my relationships...where do I start?....I had a few, none of them really successful...Always ended up in me getting hurt, which is why I stopped caring...If I was talking to someone, it really wasn't a big deal...If we had stopped talking the next day it wouldn't have phased me, because I did not care...And to be honest, I don't know what made me care about the person that I am with now...I really can't explain it...and I can honestly say that I am happy in this relationship...there are a lot of people who will claim to know me, but very few actually do...and for them hearing that I am actually happy in a relationship is almost unheard of...Many of my close friends said that when I was in a relationship, that my whole personality changed, because I was always trying to change things to make myself and everyone around me happy, but now...I am still the same goofy, funny, hyper, laid back, down to earth, understanding, happy, goal oriented, young man of God that everyone has grown to love, and if you don't then you will soon enough...I am astonished with how far I have truly come...Of course I did not do it alone...Myself along with the help of God, my good friends, as well as the ones who pretended to be my friends but really wanted me to fail, my family for never turning their back on me, and always being there even when I was 150% in the wrong, as well as everyone who I was at one point or another in a relationship with, and now my current girlfriend, for being real, and telling me not always what I want to hear, but what she feels I need to hear...Again I love and appreciate you all, I have learned something from every individual who has impacted my life both positively and negatively, and as a result of me learning from all of you and applying what it is that I learned, You all have helped me create Mr. (soon to be Dr.) Anthony D. Davis Jr. a changed man, who now not only has set goals for myself, but am also helping others reach their dreams, by setting a good example for them. A man who not only is God fearing, but also is helping others connect with the Lord. A man who now treats women with utmost respect, and refuses to ever "Chris Brown" one of them...Take it how you want, but this is me, a changed man...

Its time

For as long as I can remember, writing has been the way that I am able to express myself the best. And I have plenty of full notebooks, shoeboxes, and moving boxes full of nothing but loose leaf. And now 10 years later, I have decided that I am going to put some of my work together and write a few books. A book or two full of nothing but poetry, and also a book that I am working on alongside with my dad about Divorce and the impact on children that it has.... I figure that since I am an individual who had to go through a divorce at a young age, that my book will be able to reach others, and they will connect with it.... We'll see how it goes... Working on it now......